i sit here bleeding from my heart ripped almost but not quite in half. i am losing blood. i am losing life. the woman who has a little more than a third of my heart a little less than half walks in. apparently in our fight 2 weeks ago i took less of a chunk of her heart out. she has went to the voodoo doctor, found weed (her new i need to forget about the pain) medicine, and somehow reached into her chest cavity and cauterized the open sores around her heart. she is no longer bleeding, well maybe a lil, but it doesnt show. in court the other day she stood trial for adultrey. my case was simple, 'eventhough i was depressed, and not fulfilling her needs for a period of about 1-2 months, she had no right to seek fulfillment other places. she knew that going to the theifs house to 'fellowship' as she would like to call it, would make me more upset and mad. what i am trying to say judge was she was not trying to make it easier on me. she was trying to push my buttons. so a meal, not one but two movies later, if that was not enough to 'get my attention, there was that kiss. this kiss was fatal. she knew it would be. the touch was the icing on the cake, judge. the next morning, she goes back to the theifs house. sleeps on his couch. less than 2 weeks later, she is still seeing theives alone in their lairs, and i call them theives because she belonged to me. i am sorry judge i didnt play by all of your rules, but if i had, would she have done this to me? it is a question we can only think about and not answer, but i have an opinion. i gave her all that i could without making it legal, judge, because i want to be sure that it worked. i am sorry i didnt trust you. i dont believe that gives her the right to do what she did. answer me this judge, why, if she says that she is going to fight for me, does she do the same things that made our fight. i will admit that i ripped a piece of her heart out, what was i to do, it was self defense. when i walked in that night, she reached into my heart ALMOST insanely and ripped a large chunk out. i have stated before to the courts how big it was. judge, it was a fatal blow, and i am slowly dying. i didnt have any weapons to fight against her with because i am not fighting anything, i am not fighting the battle with my work (sorry judge) i am not fight the battle with my school (sorry judge), i was also not fighting the battle with my love (sorry judge) i am seeing the error in my ways. with this statement i plead my case.
judge please make your verdict fast, for i am losing life so quickly, and i wont go to the hospital. i am not ready to go outside. i am sorry judge, i will let her speak...
"your honor, i am innocent. this man is twisting the truth. if he would have taken my proposal to come to you legally to become one, i would never had to do this. he is a coward, your honor. i talked and talked with him, i pleaded with him to have him accept my name as his. i was the real man in this relationship. what was i supposed to do? he works the night shift, i was lonely, i wanted to hang out with friends.
'i object, your honor. to let it be clearer to the jury i would like to point out that she wanted to hang out with a friend and not multiple friends on the basis that my client said that he didnt mind if she hung out with multiple friends with theif #1, but was not okay with her just hanging out with him.'
'sustained..please retract that last statement and be more accurate this time melida.'
'ugh, i wanted to hang out with someone and that someone happened to be joe. you ask why? well, he wasnt busy and i didnt feel like hanging out with my other friends'

this is making me sick.